You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
