Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I want her autograph on my taint
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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