I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Randomize