a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
