just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
