Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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