Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
