There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
