he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
