Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
