Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She needs sedatives and a leash
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
