But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize