I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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