I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
