But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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