And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
