we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
