I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
