I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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