after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Still dying that you shit outside
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
