Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
then he tried to convert me to islam
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
