Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
