im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
