i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
