i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
