At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
