My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
