She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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