I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
