his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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