Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my being single is dangerous.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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