Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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