Everything about him screamed your future.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
