The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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