I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
