he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
