i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
