New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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