Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
