I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize