My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
