So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
