hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
