I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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