I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Someone came in the potted fern
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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