Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
