i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize