If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I wear drunk well.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
