you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize