i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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