so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
