wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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