She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
