butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
