I feel like abortions should bother me more
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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