The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
