remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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