I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
