Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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