One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
