these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
