I cockslap morals
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
