Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
