i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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