my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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