did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
