its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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