I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize