she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
