after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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