Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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